Kids

I have been having a pity party for myself because Tommy and Lizzie are growing up so quickly. It's amazing to see all the stuff they learn and how quickly they learn it, but at the same time, the fact that Tommy is almost four and Lizzie is one (and Lexy is SIX, for that matter) just breaks my heart. I can't believe that so much time has passed. While I was running this morning, I was remembering my own childhood -- a time when I bet I was 9 and Em was 6 -- and realized that pretty soon, Tommy and Lizzie will be those ages. And it just kills me. Because then I thought about how someday they won't even live with us anymore, and while believe me that I would love to skip off to a movie whenever I felt like it, the emptiness seems unbearable. And then, I think of my parents' friends' granddaughter, who was born a couple of months before the Lula and is losing muscle rather than gaining it and will die by her third birthday or something unfathomably horrible like that. And I stop my pity party and feel grateful until I hear some sentimental music or something sets me off again like Tommy using a big word or Lizzie standing unassisted.

Ah, parenthood.