Blowing kisses at hummingbirds

It was my birthday yesterday and for all those interested it was lovely and my husband and children could not have been sweeter to me.  Here is a list of all the adorable things my children said to me about my gifts:

(a) "I tried really hard to catch you a bug for your birthday present but all I could get was an ant."
(b) "We got you a present.  It starts with 'n'."
(c) "We got you a present.  Daddy hid it in that drawer."
(d) [as I'm opening] "That one's a bracelet."
(e) [as I'm opening the next gift] "That one's a necklace."

And as we did the birthday interview, Eli asked Tommy what his favorite thing about me is, and Tommy said, "Mommy is just SO generous and nice...no, no, no."  So it sounded like he meant I'm not nice, and to him I am not always nice so that would be fair, but he clarified that I'm just so many nice things he was having a hard time choosing.  I love that he thinks I'm generous.

Thank you all for your sweet emails.  Some of them actually made me cry they were so thoughtful and while we all know it's stupid that I have such a hard time with my birthday, the fact that so many of you are lovely to me about it just means the world to me.  Hugs and kisses. I can't wait to see so many of you this summer.

Moving on.  It is my grandma's birthday tomorrow and had she lived past the 12th of February she would be turning 93.  I love love love that her birthday is so close to mine because I will never ever forget it.  We have lots of hummingbirds here in Oman and many of them on the patio we see from the area where the kids and I spend lots of our time (our house tour is coming soon, I promise).  The first time I noticed one, I told the kids about how Gigi loves them.  So we decided that we'd blow kisses at them when we see them, and think about all the things we (I) love and miss about my grandma.  As my mother-in-law said, my grandma is one of those people who left a gaping hole when she died and maybe it's just because it's her birthday, but I find myself really wondering how one goes about dealing with such a hole.  And, also, when do I stop forgetting she's not here anymore and I won't see her this summer?