Saturday, June 02, 2012

On Wal-Mart and Culture Shock

Yes, I realize that it is very affected and ridiculous of me to describe any experience I have upon my return to the US as 'Culture Shock' but this is different because I'm a Pacific Northwest Girl (ah-hem, grown up) and I am here in the South.  To put a finer point on it, I am going to tell a little story about my trip to Wal-Mart yesterday with Eli and Lulu.

To set the tone, my husband who knows that I get a little bit overwhelmed when we come to America because everything except produce is incredibly cheap, kept telling me to hurry up that we were going to buy out the whole store if I didn't get out of the toiletries section, and that 'goddamnit it honey there is enough shit in our cart and are you really planning to take with you back to London six children's toothbrushes?'

To which I replied, 'why yes, love, yes I am.  But when I'm done we can get back in the car and resume discussing our life plan.'

So then he took the food part of the list and the baby and left me in peace until I had more than I could carry without the cart and was forced to interrupt my blissful stroll among band-aids and deodorant (which really is different here) and toothbrushes and such cheap contact solution and go find him.

When I returned he had settled in a bit and had put into our cart a gallon sized can of Nacho 'Cheese' Sauce and some fat-in-a-can that looks like cool whip but is for cooking rather than desserts (but otherwise is likely very similar from an ingredient standpoint).  He told me that what our English friends would best like about this store (not the giant cans of cheese sauce or spray can fat) are the motorized carts provided for shoppers which beep loudly as they stroll down the aisles.

Anyway, I tore myself away from the toiletries and helped grocery shop and then we went to check out.  To really tell this story because yes, we are finally arriving to the point of this blog post, my parents had done a fairly large grocery shop before we arrived and we were buying things for one meal and so the produce in our cart was limited to the following:

* four lemons
* one watermelon
* a tub of spinach
* two packages of basil
* a package of mint
* three bell peppers
* romaine lettuce

So after waiting a few minutes, it was our turn to check out.  We spent north of two hundred dollars at Wal-Mart yesterday afternoon so you know it was a big pile, of which produce was a small part.

And the lady in her very very thick accent and I exchanged some friendly words (I apologized for something; she said she didn't mind anything I did so long as I didn't keep her there for a second past four-thirty; she told me she liked my dress; I said something stupid about how navy stripes are everywhere aren't they), and then she dropped this question on me:

y'all eat a lot of fruit, don't you?

And just I blinked once and said that yeah, we try... I guess.

I suppose the silver lining is that Eli got to hear me process that on the way home instead of discussing our future.  (I just love long car rides with Eli but I cannot be absolutely sure that he loves long car rides with me.)

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