My children, a couple of weeks later

This morning, Lulu came into my bathroom where I was getting ready and asked me if her swimsuit bottom was "inside outside".  Does this strike anyone else as the most delightful thing ever said in the history of the world ever? No? I guess she has to be yours to feel quite so strongly.

These adorable children of mine have been making me C-R-A-Z-Y and the root of it is that they have been a little bit bickery.  I would love to describe to you my emotional response at the commencement of the bickering, but I don't think I can.  Or maybe, FURY and RAGE are pretty close to descriptive.

When I am experiencing FURY and RAGE because one of my offspring is purposefully irritating the other, I am unable to be anything other than what my children describe as "yell-y".   "WHY ARE YOU MAKING YOUR SISTER CRY?" and "CAN YOU PLEASE TRY TO TALK ABOUT THIS WITH TOMMY NOT WITH ME BEFORE YOU BEGIN TO CRY??"  and "THIS IS NOT A BIG DEAL, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE JUST FIGURE IT OUT!"

And later on during my car thinking time, I reflect and sigh and wish I were a better person.  Because there are no parenting books that tell you to lose your temper with your kids.  The best advice I've found is that you ought to apologize to your children and explain that temper-losing is undesirable and that you are working not to do it.

So I do.  I apologize.  And Lizzie suggests "square breathing" (which I will just have to show you sometime) and finding someone to give you a hug when you're angry.  Tommy just says, very cheerfully, "that's alright mom!  I forgive you!" Ugh, ugh, ugh, ONE MILLION UGHS.

All this to say:  who knows the golden secret to stop the bickering?  Please send ASAP.

Tommy

One day last week, Lizzie fell asleep in the car and Tommy's little voice from the backseat said, "Mom, I have something in me that I am burning to tell you."  I told him that he can always tell me anything and he squirmed around and then blurted out that his friend had said the f word.

I was really happy that I wasn't facing him so he couldn't see me smiling.

I asked him about the context in which he used it, and I confirmed that Tommy doesn't say the word ("NO!  I NEVER do!") and then he said, "Well, after I told him it's not appropriate and he shouldn't say it, XYZ said it's just a word and it's not a big deal. [pause] And mom, he's right.  It's just a word.  Right?"

I explained that it's a very disrespectful word and that he wants people to think highly of him, and not think that he isn't polite and respectful, and he seemed to understand.  Then, he said, "but sometimes I just would really like to say it!"  So I said, "Well, it's just you and me right now, even Lizzie's asleep, so now would be an okay time for you to say it if you want to."  And he did.  He whispered it and then announced that he felt much better.  I promised that he could say it if it was just the two of us and he talked to me about it before.

***

On Saturday, he went on a playdate with a friend who is allowed to play a lot more video games than Tommy is, and one of them was violent and scared Tommy (who went and told the mother that the boys were playing 'inappropriate' video games).  He was fairly traumatized and kept telling me it was horrible and I just couldn't imagine it.  We talked about putting the memories into a bubble and letting them float off into the air.  I had no idea if this is a strategy that works, but another mom told me about it a while ago and I figured it was worth a try.  The next morning, he came into our room at four and told us that he dreamed I was ripping off his arms.

Gone, but not forgotten!

It's my Grandma's birthday today. Here she is five years ago, but it feels like yesterday. We still miss her!

Another ball

Our friends invited us to another ball last weekend and my husband shockingly agreed to go (a second ball, less than one month from the first!)

There are no photos of me with my handsome husband.  There are also no photos of me in my dress, or my very fancy hair.  But OH WELL.

This first photo is called "Dudes at a ball":

This one is called "Do I need Botox look at the lines on my forehead?"  (Not really; I've had those since college which a nice girl on my freshman floor pointed out to me.)

Honestly, I know these photos could be better.  But my blog is so I remember all the fun things I do (and some of the not-so-fun ones too; see this post).

Daymaniyat Islands (with a ps about my birthday)

Yesterday -- the day after my 39th birthday -- we went on a catamaran to the Daymaniyat Islands.  It took a couple of hours to get there and a couple of hours to get back, and while we were there we snorkeled and jumped off the boat.  It was a relaxing, fun day and I think we would all like to go back again next year.  Tommy spotted a big stingray under our boat and I wish I had a photo to show you but I don't.  As it is, these are all photos taken by my friend April who went on the boat trip with us and sweetly sent her photos along.

On my actual birthday, I went to my favorite yoga class, had coffee with a friend, picked up the kids at noon because it was early dismissal, and then we came home and got Eli! So we had all afternoon to run errands, and go to lunch and go to the pool. Then I had nachos for dinner. It was very nice. AND, Eli got me a KitchenAid mixer (with proper voltage). I LOVE it and Tommy loves it too because it's red. I might post a little more about my birthday but I hope not as it's been a little bit of a hard one for me (and no, this isn't new; I'm sure you all remember that I cry annually on my birthday).